I love it when these stories come in in weird formats, and @ewasr may have taken the cake here with this tale in the format of a government information pamphlet. With a huge portion of cold war-era nuclear survival advice, and some subtle yet massively weird differences to boot, this take on @notquitecool’s prompt was neatly unnerving:


PROMPT PROVIDER: @notquitecool

AUTHOR: @ewasr

TITLE: Mummy, there’s a wormhole under my bed

[A crumpled pamphlet entitled “Mummy, there’s a wormhole under my bed“]

This guide will tell you how to make your home and family as safe as possible in the event of an Einstein-Rosen instability.

In the weeks since the catastrophic Einstein-Rosen disruption device detonation at CERN, the UK Government has put into effect emergency powers in order to confine and reduce damage, destruction and disruption caused by the local Einstein-Rosen events that have occurred in the wake of the attack.

Should a local Einstein-Rosen event occur within the home, it is NECESSARY and VITAL that the following steps are followed. Failure to comply may lead to unclosed rift events, widespread instability, or potentially a massive reality implosion. It is therefore of utmost importance that smaller scale events are prevented from developing into serious reality-endangering faults.

Einstein-Rosen anomalies are at present impossible to predict. There is currently a lead time of ten to fifteen minutes before an instability breaks through, but as the disruption field of effect currently covers the entirety of northern, western and central Europe, only general broadcasts for a defined geographical reach can be made when an anomaly is detected.

Before any alarm is sounded for your area, you must do the following:

– Ensure there is a solid, reinforced area in which you and your family can take shelter. Ensure that your shelter has fresh water, facilities, internet and radio signal reception, a supply of warm clothing, and first aid equipment. Your shelter needs to be stable in the event of a house or building collapse and secure with regards to external access.

Further detailed information as to the construction of a reinforced shelter can be found in Appendix 1.1.

– Have at least two anomaly survival kits in the house in case of an internal event. Such kits should include tinned and/or dried food, first aid, lighting such as LED torches or glow sticks, a portable radio, Geiger counter, GPS, internet access device, and some form of personal defence or protection.

Further detailed information as to the contents of a survival kit can be found in Appendix 1.2.

– Check your Einstein-Rosen panic alarm system every fortnight to ensure the family is aware of procedure and that the automatic notification system is fault-free. Each press of the black “EVENT” buttons, red “PRESENCE” buttons and green “AFFIRMED” buttons throughout the home installation should trigger the appropriate light or tone on the central alarm system control board. Red and green buttons will flash red or green, while the black button will emit a low flat tone. Every room should have one panic alarm system unit minimum.

Further information as to checks, upkeep and annual system checks can be found in Appendix 1.3.

In the event of a local area alarm:

– Immediately proceed to the reinforced shelter with all living beings within your home

– Hit the red “PRESENCE” button on your ER panic alarm system to alert rescuers that you are present in the area affected by an anomaly

– Turn on your Geiger counter and monitor your surroundings constantly

In the event of an anomaly in situ:

– Close all doors and windows to the room and house

– Immediately proceed to the reinforced shelter with all living beings within your home

– Hit the black “EVENT” button on your ER panic system to alert personnel that the anomaly is within your radius

– Turn on your Geiger counter and monitor your surroundings constantly

When the all clear is sounded:

– Hit the green “AFFIRMED” button on your ER panic system to let the emergency services all are located and accounted for

– Wait until the all clear has finished sounding before leaving your reinforced shelter

Please note that the immediate observational presence of living beings has been known to increase the power, longevity and damaging effect of an Einstein-Rosen event. As soon as one is detected, or as soon as the alarm is sounded, it is of UTMOST IMPORTANCE that people take cover before any visual confirmation is made, for the good of all.

Einstein-Rosen events last for 3 to 72 hours, and vary in destructive effects from C7 (minor earthquakes, external effects of a strong wind) to C1 (catastrophic warping of landscape, massive loss of life). Please prepare accordingly.

Should members of the household be taken or affected by the anomaly, hit the black “EVENT” button and standby for personnel to assist.

In the unlikely and as of yet completely unknown event of an Einstein-Rosen event occurring and leaving something behind, hit your black “EVENT” button immediately and await further instructions from nearby personnel.

After an event, either local or immediate in nature, once the all clear has sounded, personnel will inspect the area and let you know when it is safe to emerge. Do not emerge before these checks are carried out. You will be temporarily relocated and the area will be monitored for any lasting damage, foreign debris, and radiation.

Failure to comply will lead to endangerment of yourselves and others. Personnel will have the capability to enforce all laws and strictures to ensure the populace adheres to the advice in this pamphlet.

Individuals entering the anomalies will immediately be nullified a Class X risk as per the Emergency Government Einstein-Rosen Detonation Statute of May 2017. Approaching an Einstein-Rosen event is tantamount to a terrorist act and will be treated as such.

Safety first, and stability for all.

PROMPT: Mummy, there’s a wormhole under my bed